By Harley QuinnAs the economy continues its downward spiral, the new administration valiantly struggles to find new solutions. Innovative and creative means of generating new capital seem to be increasingly rare commodities. Yet the solution has popped up right under our noses. I’m surprised we didn’t discover it sooner. All we have to do to get out of this morass is to tap into a rich, virtually inexhaustible fountain of new revenue that will provide plenty for all.
I don’t blame you for being skeptical. The new, untapped wealth was obscured and kept invisible by some of the most intricate, complex accounting in economic history. Nevertheless, it is clearly visible now. The gig is up. The money is up for grabs. The means to grab it are at hand and it will mean no less then the end of the world’s economic crisis.
It all started when Obama’s selection for Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, was being vetted for the position. It was found that he had not paid taxes due to avoidable, but not intentional, reasons to the tune of close to $50,000. He paid the taxes and penalties and was confirmed. Next, Tom Daschle, former senator and congressional leader, was about to be appointed. He owed over $140,000. He paid it but dropped out of the running. With just two administrative appointments, the U.S. economy gained $190,000. This constituted a Eureka moment for America.
All we need to do to pay for all the bailouts and stimuli is appoint more people to government positions. The tax revenue will exponentially multiply and will sweep like a tsunami over the national debt, washing it away like foam in the surf. With this in mind, I propose that governments at all levels, immediately initiate appointment tsars. Wealthy individuals from all walks of life should immediately be appointed to something, anything! They all will be vetted and they all will “voluntarily” remit monies they’ve been withholding for decades.
This is a win-win for the national and local governments and for the people. It is a self-evident truth that our most talented and accomplished citizens are better at gaming the system than everyone else. Instead of our making them the butt of negative moral judgments, we should think of them as public spirited patriots who were secretly saving money for when the country would experience a rainy day. As the money pours into government coffers, the new appointees will then use their superior talents to make our government more responsive and efficient. All this will redound to the greater good..
I don’t believe anyone should meekly pay their taxes, without first seeking a government appointment. Hold out for the best deal you can get. It is your patriotic duty. To do less jeopardizes the new source of revenue and the economic recovery. Let us all join in the effort to mine this rich new source of money. Instead of drill, drill, drill, we should be exhorting each other to appoint, appoint, appoint. ~